THE FALL FAIR

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:

The Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), which is how they pronounce “retired” in Periwinkle County, or at least that’s what they tell him, was in his usual booth at the Stitch In Time Out-patient Surgery and Coffee Center, with a photo of Gaydolf Shitler, the head of the Libertarian Nazi Party on the table, to discourage anyone from sitting with him, lest he lose points in the Hermudgeon of the Year competition, Hermudgeon being a conflation of hermit and curmudgeon, when Pastor Patty of The Methodist came in and dropped into the seat across from him.

“A woman isn’t afraid of Gaydolf and his ilk when she’s pastor of a church that does a Fall Fair,” she sighed. “We had tents all around the church building and on every street corner in town. It was a LOT of work. At least it’s over.”

“The sign said it was a Fall Fare,” Randall remarked, “but you said Fall Fair.”

“Were you even there?” asked Pastor Patty, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Long enough to see the sign,” said Randall.

“You were supposed to stay long enough to buy stuff. After all, all the proceeds go to missions.”

“Hey, I bought. The prices were almost like being at Wrigley Field. I bought a $20 jar of salsa at the All Things Persimmon tent, and I ate a $10 ear of corn and told a joke at the All Things Corny tent. They made me contribute another $10 for that. And I stuffed ten bucks in the noise hole of the ukulele of Stormin Norman, the strolling Terrorist Troubadour.”

“That’s called a sound hole, not a noise hole.”

“Yeah, you could still hear it, even with the money in it.”

“How come you didn’t stay around for the crowning of the Persimmon Queen?”

“Well, after I got my salsa and corn, I was looking over the stuff in the Trashy Treasures tent with Professor Seymour Bottoms, and an old woman offered fifty cents for him, so I decided to get out before they did their end-of-the-day prices.”

***
Thanks to Jon Stewart for his appearance at the Fall Fair, and for contributing the name of the leader of the Libertarian Nazi Party, because the similarity between the activities in Periwinkle County and events in other places is rarely coincidental.

You are always welcome to Forward or Repost or Reprint. It’s okay to acknowledge the source, unless it embarrasses you too much.

[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://www.christinwinter.blogspot.com/]

{If you would like to receive PC or CIW by email, let me know at jmcfarland1721@charter.net, and I’ll put you on the list.}