Lesbians for Fathers Day

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:

The Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), which is how they pronounce retired in Periwinkle County, or at least that’s what they tell him, was in his usual booth at The Juan Valdez Coffee Shop and Donkey Exchange with a propeller beanie on the table in front of him, to keep anyone from sitting with him, lest he lose points in the Hermudgeon of the Year competition, hermudgeon being a conflation of hermit and curmudgeon, when Beau Dacious, the oldest redneck sky-diver in Periwinkle County, and Dino Sauer, the oldest German-Italian in Periwinkle County, and Harvey Bristol-Kremo, the oldest English-Finn in Periwinkle County came in carrying a sign reading: LESBIANS FOR FATHERS DAY.

“In case you don’t know,” said Randall, “you guys don’t qualify as lesbians. You’re not even thespians.”

“We are now that we’ve found out that Gay Girl in Damascus blog is actually a forty-year-old American guy living in Scotland,” said Beau Dacious.

“Yeah, and that Paula Brooks who runs the LezGetReal website? She’s really a fifty-two-year-old retired military guy in Ohio,” said Dino Sauer.

“Apparently they flunked the psycho-social development stage of identity v. identity diffusion in their teen years,” said Dr. Nathan, in an attempt to get them to go away, psychobabble always being a good conversation squelcher. It didn’t work. It never does.

“Hey, don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it,” said Harvey Bristol-Kermo.

“Yeah, you need to explore your feminine side, Randy Preacher,” said Beau.

“If you must call me Randy, please put the title first,” said the Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan. “And just where would I explore my feminine side in a place like Periwinkle County?”

“Well, you could go to our website,” said Dino.

“Yeah,” said Harvey. “We’re Flopsie, Mopsie, and Cottontail, the three lesbian Jewish bunnies of the Playgoy web site.”

***

The similarity between the activities in Periwinkle County and events in other places is rarely coincidental.

[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/ or at http://christinwinter.wordpress.com/, according to which one is working that day.]

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