Sunday, July 21, 2013

TAKIN' A TRAIN TO TEXAS


Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County
 

The Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), which is how they pronounce retired in Periwinkle County, or at least that’s what they tell him, was in his usual booth at The Depot cyber Café, with a TV set tuned to the Zimmerman trial 24/7 channels on the table in front of him, to keep anyone from sitting with him, lest he lose points in the Hermudgeon of the Year competition, hermudgeon being a conflation of hermit and curmudgeon, when engineer Stormy Kromer came in and slipped into the booth across from him.
 
Stormy took out his Android.
 
I used to date a girl named Ann Droid, said Dr. Nathan.
 
I ben up all nite, Stormy texted him. I don’t need ur corny jokes. Ben on the unlimited. Talkd w a boy named ian bak n the dining car.
 
I thought u were supposed 2 drive the train, Randall texted back on his yellow legal pad.
 
No. they run thereselves now, Stormy said, forgetting the rule about actually talking in a wireless place, but saving himself the embarrassment of his misspelling since the old preacher could not see it.
 
This boy named Ian, Stormy said, saying Ian with a capital I this time since he wasn’t trying to save strokes on his droid, had his guitar. Said he was goin’ to Texas with his daddy, a Methodist preacher named Wesley to see his granddaddy, another Methodist preacher, name of John. Damn good names for Methodist preachers.
 
I think the Wesleys would prefer you not say damn, said Dr. Nathan.
 
Damn, said Stormy. If I’d a txted, I wud hav said dam and u wudn’t no the diff.
 
How old was this boy? asked Randall Nathan.
 
Hard to say, answered Stormy. They look so young and sound so old these days. I think that’s why they take up music. If they’re holding an instrument they’re allowed to say stuff rather than just grunt. Anyhow, me and this boy Ian wrote a song…
 
He took his guitar and began to sing…
 
Takin’ a train to Texas
The old man on my right
Takin’ a train to Texas
Talkin’ all the night
He tells about the old days
And days that never were
Takin’ a train to Texas
Beyond that I’m not sure
 
Takin’ a train to Texas
To see the old man’s old man
Takin’ a train to Texas
He picks the mandolin
Sundays tells folks not to sin
To sing real loud and be real pure
Takin’ a train to Texas
Beyond that I’m not sure
           
Takin’ a train to Texas
My guitar on my knee
Takin’ a train to Texas
They’ve got one star and one tree
Takin’ a train to Texas
To see how they endure
Takin’ a train to Texas
Beyond that I’m not sure
 
I think it needs a little improvement, said Dr. Nathan.
 
Yeah, the song needs some, too, said Stormy
 
***
A Golden Persimmon is awarded to Sheryl Sather Wilkey, since the similarity between the activities in Periwinkle County and events in other places is rarely coincidental.
 
[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]
 
 

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