Clara's Education

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:

The Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), which is how they pronounce retired in Periwinkle County, or at least that’s what they tell him, was in his usual booth at the Doctors Without Boarders Coffee House & Real Estate Agency, entertaining three-year-old Clara Wembley by doing back-lighted shadow puppets against the window while her nana, Kate Bates, was out looking for her husband, Professor Ben “Seymour” Bottoms, because Shingles the dog had told them that Professor Bottoms had been abducted by gypsy-impersonators who were holding him hostage at the bottom of a well. At least, that is how Clara interpreted Shingles, since she wanted to get rid of him or her—no one has ever been sure of Shingles’ gender—because she has still not forgiven Shingles for stealing her blankie on Christmas eve in 2009, and she wanted to get both Singles and her nana out of Doctors Without Boarders because she knew they would not approve of the double- caffeine Persimmon latte-dah she was planning to talk the old bald guy into buying for her, and Kate went along with it because she knew her sociologist husband was likely to get into trouble on the streets by himself because he had recently decided to revisit phrenology and some people do not like having a stranger walk up and start feeling their head to see if they have criminal tendencies. But Kate was back quickly, this time with Claire Nathan.

“Randall, you’ve got to stop doing those finger puppets,” said Claire. “Bessie Bandervilt was walking by and thought you were giving her the finger. She’s still pretty sharp for 98, but her sight must be going. She’s writing a letter to the editor about it right now.”

“No, Bessie sees okay,” said Clara. “Dr. Randy Retard was really having the bunny give her the finger, just like our teacher at pre-school does when she gets mad at us.”

“Good grief, Clara,” said Kate. “Miss Aprehenshun gives you the finger?”

“Yep, if we aren’t being have enough for her. She jumps up and down and gives us the finger.”

“Show us how she does it, Clara,” said Rev. Nathan.

“Oh, no, I don’t think…” started Kate, but Clara was already holding up her chubby and grubby little hand and extending a finger.

“Oh, thank goodness,” sighed Kate, as Clara plopped out her index finger and wagged it up and down.

“Here comes Bessie again, Clara,” said Randall Nathan. “I’ll show you another way to give the finger to someone who’s bugging you.”

“You do and I’ll show you five fingers all bunched up,” said Claire.

“These nanas keep hanging around,” grumbled Clara. “The only time I learn something good is when they’re not here.”

***
[The similarity between the activities in Periwinkle County and events in other places is rarely coincidental.]

[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]

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