Clara's Snow Man

Periwinkle Chronicles: Tales of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:
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Sheriff Omar slouched into The Hell’s Angles Biker Bar & Geometry Club just as Constance Comment was ending the Chai Chai dance lessons, which requires one to sip tea from beer goggles while doing the cha cha.

The sheriff had a rather large and unpleasant looking lump in the middle of his shaved head.

“You’re never going to look like Yul Brynner, Sharif, so give up the shaved look,” said Constance. “It only makes your brain bulge more obvious.”

“How’d you get that there brain bulge anyway, Sheriff?” asked Zeke Domkowski.

“I got called out to Bessie Bandervilt’s house. Kate Bates had took her home after the Geopardy tournament the Baptist ladies had, and I guess Bessie was feeling pretty good, ‘cause she won a treasure map, so she decided she and Kate and Clara Wembley, Kate’s three-year-old granddaughter, should build a snow man in the yard. After they did that, they were sitting in Bessie’s kitchen, where she does her pig taxidermy, and looking out the window, and that big deer, the one they call John, he and his gang attacked that snow man.”

“Why in the world?” exclaimed Constance.

“Well, it seems Bessie doesn’t keep any carrots in the house, ‘cause they remind her of a basketball team she doesn’t like, so she put a persimmon on the snow man for a nose, and Kate put sweet potatoes on for its ears, and little Clara put them little cheery tomatoes down its front for buttons. You know how that John deer and his gang hate red. Reminds him of a tractor brand he doesn’t like.”

“So you got that brain bulge trying to chase John and his gang off?”

“No, little Clara had already grabbed a rolling pin and chased ‘em off by the time I got there. Clara was still holding that rolling pin when I said, ‘Dressed like that, the snow man was askin’ for it.’”

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(The similarity between activities in Periwinkle County and events in other places is never coincidental.) Today a Golden Persimmon goes to Lynne Hendershott Wilson.


[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]

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