Unknown Precipitation

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:

The big snow storm hit Periwinkle County, like it did the rest of the country.

Naturally, everyone in the county heeded Sheriff Omar’s admonition to stay off the roads. Instead they drove their snowmobiles and ATMs on the sidewalks and through people’s yards and on the extensive network of persimmon harvesting pathways.

“Shouldn’t that be ATVs?” asked Priscilla Shufflebottom, the famous persimmon polka dancer, who was down from Kapetal City for a concert and got snowed in at the Veggiedale fire house.

“No. Thirdfifth Bank believes the next big thing in money moving is ATMs on wheels, taking the money to the people, so to speak, so they give mobile ATMs out to people who go where’s there’s lots of drinking and not much sense. The only problem is that an ATM on wheels is sort of subject to theft.”

Naturally, the storm brought out the blizzard buzzards, large wild turkey-like creatures who appear only when there is bad weather, since they prefer frozen entrees.

The storm was all anyone talked about at the coffee shops.

“It’s all because they brought in them Chipahoys to do that snow dance at the “Persimmon Harvest and Pumpkin Stand Church” at the winter festival,” said Zeke Domkowski. “Them’s tough cookies. They really know how to dance.”

“Did you see the report on us on ‘The Whether Channel?’ asked Roald Oates. “They couldn’t tell whether we were getting snowed, or what.”

“I don’t know why they bothered to send that Jim Cannedstory here to do a report,” said Bessie Bandervilt, who is 94 and so called Kate Bates and told her she had to go to the emergency room immediately, so Kate spent three hours shoveling out her brother’s Jeep and went to get Bessie, only to find out on the way to the hospital that Bessie had meant “The Emergency Room Coffee Shop & Unionsuit Hall.”

“Well,” said Kate, reasonably, “we’re always in one of those lines on the map where you can’t tell if it is rain or hail or snow or ice. On the whether map, they just put Unknown Precipitation.”

“It’s a pretty sorry place to live when even your precipitation can’t be identified,” said Evangeline Northby-Northwest.

***


[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]

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