The Parka Polka

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:

Stan McMorse tapped and snapped his way into “The Puce Julius Persimmon Bar & Decorating Salon” and tapped and snapped his way over to the booth where the Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), which is how they pronounce “retired” in Periwinkle County, was drinking a persimmon roughy and whittling on a puzzleword cross.

“Hey, Rev, you know McMorse code. You going to join?”

“You know my rule. No meetings unless music is involved.”

“Well, you must not have understood the message I just tapped out. We’re starting up The Pulsating Persimmons Barbershop Chorus again.”

“I understood perfectly well,” opined Dr. Nathan. “Besides, I read about it in The Old Weird Herald.”

“Come on, Rev, it’ll be great to have the guys singing together again,” he said, as he tapped around the room, handing out fliers about the restoration plans of The Pulsating Persimmons. “We could even do one of your songs. How’s about The Parka Polka?”

He jumped onto a chair at the table where Kay Pasa and Shirley Knott sat with Roald Oates and began to sing, with a tune that sounded a great deal like The Pennsylvania Polka:

The wind chill’s 100 and I mean below
Let’s do the parka polka
The pipes are all frozen, the water won’t flow
Let’s do the Parka Polka

Roald Oates stood and joined him with a mealy baritone.

Your hands are in mittens, your face in a mask
Let’s do the Parka Polka
Are you a woman or is that too much to ask
Let’s do the Parka Polka

From the corner Ole Aginous joined in with an oily bass.

You may be a bow-wow, I couldn’t care less
Let’s do the Parka Polka
Bundled up like that I couldn’t even guess
Let’s do the Parka Polka

Al Fredo joined them with the high tenor, extending his hand to Kay Pasa.

Stick out your hand, put your mitten in mine
Let’s do the Parka Polka
If you are a woman please give me a sign
Let’s do the Parka Polka

Kay gave him a sign. The men ignored it and continued to sing.

There is one thing to know that I really need
Let’s do the Parka Polka
Are you going to follow or will you lead
Let’s do the Parka Polka

All the men in the place, with the exception of the song’s author, were now singing.

I love you madly, our romance can’t fail
Let’s do the Parka Polka
But the only way I know you’re female is by the way you do the Parka Polka.

They finished and applauded themselves. Shirley Knott was reading the flier.

“This thing says that all men of good character are welcome.”

“Makes you understand why they had to fold the first time, doesn’t it?” said Randall Nathan.

[“Christ in Winter,” Reflections On Faith For People In The Winter Of Their Years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]

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