I Wanna Poo

One of Kate Bates' old friends, Marliece Wiggs Hare, came to town to visit. She brought her four-year-old grandson, Titus, with her. Kate's three-year-old granddaughter, Clara Wembley, was there. Clara thought hanging around with an older man was quite cool until Titus went up to Marliece and pulled on her excess arm flesh and said, "I wanna poo."

"Not now," said his grandmother.

This happened several times over the next half-hour of tea and catch-up conversation. "I wanna poo." "Not yet. Wait a while."

Clara was astounded. What did this woman expect of poor Titus, anyway? Finally she could stand it no longer. "For the sake of beer and everything else that's holy, let the kid poo."

[She got the first part of that line from Jake Newland.]

Marliece sighed. "Oh, alright, Titus. Go ahead."

"You mean right here?" asked Clara. She could see that her nana was about to have a coronation, or some word like that that grownups used when people were about to blow their tops, which was better than blowing your bottom, as it looked like Titus was going to do.

"Oh, it's alright," Marliece said. "He does it on the top of the sofa."

Now Clara was sure her nana would have a corona.

Titus climbed to the back of the sofa, laid down, and began to coo softly: "Poo... poo... poo... " Finally he climbed back down

"You mean that's it?" asked Clara.

"Yes," said his grandmother. "It seems to calm him when he's in strange surroundings."

Clara perked up.

"Forget it, Clara,' said her nana. "Stick to sucking your thumb."