You may remember, from the Chronicle of May 17, "What Not to Say," that Jake and Jenny Newland got a new "big bottoms" TV. When they brought it home, one of them wanted to read the directions, and one of them thought that was a complete waste of time, since the Cubs were due up on Channel 14673 on the satellite dish.
The Cubs lost, which was normal, but the new big bottoms TV was not normal. Jake, however, worked it out.
The remote for the new TV will turn on the satellite box. The remote from their old TV will turn on the new TV. You can punch in the numbers for a channel, like 96728 for PBS, on the microwave oven in the kitchen, and, after a few seconds, the channel changes. You can scroll up and down through channels with the remote for the satellite box. You can get the sound off and on by pushing the doorbell button.
Jake lowered the doorbell button so that it was low enough for Eleanor, one of their potbellied pigs, to push the button, which she will do for a Trix. Franklin, the other potbellied pig, [Everyone thinks he's gay, but he's not.] will not push the button unless he's sure something by Ken Burns is coming on. [Well, maybe he is.]
Jake gets three-year-old Clara Wembley to skip pre-school and watch TV with him so that she can run into the kitchen to push the buttons on the microwave.
"See, Clara, there's always a way to work around. Reading directions is a waste of time."
"That," Clara told her nana, Kate Bates, "was when Missus Jenny axdently dropped Mr. Jake's walker on his head again."
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