American Faces II: Ollie Speaks

[Continued from 3-5-10]

"What can we do for you, Ollie?" asked Edith.

Ollie pointed at Emily Postit. "I'll have what she's having," he said.

Edith was incredulous. "Earl Gray tea?"

"No, it's English. Earl Grey," growled Ollie, as he took a seat at Emily's table in the Episcopal Ladies corner. "Oh, my" said Emily.

"Enough with the jabber," said Ollie. "I came to watch the PBS special. No reception up in the Tetons Bleu."

So watch it they did. They agreed that Eva was stunning, Meryl remarkable, Stephen white, Malcom thoughtful, Yo-Yo enough to make his Ma-Ma proud.

"The most important thing, though," said Pastor Patty, "is how closely related we all are. Nobody can brag about having better lineage than anyone else, because we all have the same. That's the point of the Adam and Eve story, too. That's wonderful."

"No, that's terrible," roared Ollie Infree, jumping up so fast he sent the silver tea pot rolling toward the pool table. "We're TOO damn closely related. We haven't gone on long enough. We're still just a vine swing away from being monkeys. We need more evolution. We think we're so evolved and so smart, but we've barely started the process. We think because we've mastered DNA and TV and MSW and FV that we're at the end of the process. We're just cave men in polyester clothes, still fighting, still killing just for the hell of it, still as irrational as mankind has always been, begging your pardon m'am," he said, tipping his persimmon-stained beard toward Emily, "I mean to include womankind, too, as unevolved and polyestered, no mysogonist, I."

"Moi? In polyester?" gasped Emily Postit.

Ollie stalked to the door, but before he made his exit, he threw over his shoulder, "I'll check on you in 50 million years and see if you've gotten any smarter."

"That's not going to happen," said Edith. "You mean you don't think Ollie will live 50 million years?" asked her husband, Bobcat. "No, I don't think you'll be any smarter in 50 million years," said Edith.