American Faces: Ollie Appears

At the close of supper hour at The Whistle & Thistle Biker Bar & Episcopal Ladies Tea House, most of the denizens dawldled over tapioca pudding. This was especially true of Randall Nathan and his grandson, Johnny Kendy, known to other W&T diners as The Tapioca Twins, who were on their third helping. That was when Edith switched the TV from Jeopardy to PBS. This brought howls of protest from the darts players, who wanted to watch a retread of Friends, but Edith held up a wooden spoon for silence.

"We are going to watch American Faces, that special by Harvard Professor Henry Louis 'Skip' Gates, Jr," she said, a dollop of gravy dripping off the spoon onto her apron, which featured a picture of a forlorn man waving at a disappearing caboose over the words, "Kiss Your Taste Buds Goodbye." "I love Yoyo Ma," she continued, "and he's one of the genealogies Prof. Gates has traced."

"I don't see how anybody would love yo mama," observed Orval "The Obfuscator" O'Malley, leader of The Hells Bells Biker Gang [TM]. He was wearing shiny new leathers, though, so he quickly retreated behind his moll, Molly, when Edith waved the greasy gravy-laden spoon at him.

"That's alright, Big O," said Emily Postit from one of the two white-tablecloth silver-candle tables in the Episcopal Ladies corner. "They also feature Eva Longoria, and I know you think she's beautiful, even though she's Hispanic."

The Obfuscator blushed. He had not anticipated Emily revealing something so intimate from one of their group therapy sessions, nor the revelation of her pet name for him, either.

But Emily was talking on, as she usually did in the group, too. "I personally want to view the lineage of Meryl Streep. I'm sure she's a proper Episcopal lady."

"What about Stephen Colbert? He's on there, and he's funny as a pay toilet in the didareta ward," said Bobcat Whistle, the eponymous owner of the place.

"And Malcolm Gladwell," said Cratchit State U sociology prof, Ben "Seymour" Bottoms. "His 'Blink" is a great book."

"Not nearly as good as 'Outliers,'" Claire Nathan said, but at the word "outliers," the door crashed open,and there stood Ollie Infree, the mountain man, his eyes wild, a long flintlock rifle in his hand, persimmon blood dripping off his long gray matted beard.

"Oh, my" said Emily Postit. "It must be time for Ollie's annual bath."

"No matter," said Pastor Patty. "When Ollie appears, you know it's going to take until tomorrow to finish the story."