Biker Betty

Halloween brings out… well, what is it about being in costume that brings out a person in a person that other persons never knew existed? That’s the question everyone at the community Halloween Parade, Festival, Extravaganza and Smashing Pumpkins concert was asking last night.

The Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), had appeared early, in his usual “hobo in top hat” costume, which requires only the addition of his crushed velvet purple Willy Wonka/Mad Hatter topper, which he also wears when he preaches during one of the purple seasons at church, to help sort the paraders into judging categories, which, since the election is Tuesday, he did by political affiliation, which is easy enough to do when you see someone in costume.

So when Biker Betty showed up, in black eyeshade and lipstick, tattoos on her arms and cigarettes in the rolled-up sleeve of black Sturgis t-shirt and chains around her neck, nobody even came closer to guessing that it was Claire Randall, retired teacher and grandmother supreme and gracious hostess to the world. Until…

…Buster Poseyville, the leader of The Hells Angles Motorcycle Gang and Geometry Club, sauntered up to her and suggested that they “start to boldly lay down rubber,” to which Biker Betty took exception, and excoriated him for splitting an infinitive.

Randall Nathan had been ready to award the purple ribbon for “Best Costume Ever” to three-year-old Clara Wembley, a member of The Lemonade Party, since she told him he could not go to heaven unless he did so, but everyone else at the extravaganza rose up with one voice and declared that there should be two purple ribbons, since they did not want actually to test Clara’s predestinarian powers, either, one to Clara and another to Claire.

You can see all this online, since Claire does not know how to work UTube, and Clara does.