How to Determine Memory Loss

Charlevoix and Rolando Longtude walked into “The Beauty and Booty Hairdressing and Pirate Treasure Boutique” at 10:10.

“You’re 11 minutes late,” sniffed Miles Longway, who makes appointments for one minute before the hour, something he learned in beauty & booty school in Tulsa, because it causes people to be more punctual, and who has a sign above his chair that reads “Stiles With Miles.”

“You know, don’t you,” asked Charlevoix, mostly to get him off the subject of their tardiness, “that a stile refers to a little ladder over a farm fence. It’s a style that refers to a genre of hair or clothing.”

“Of course I know that,” retorted Miles, since it was the first time he had ever heard it. “I use stile instead of style because I work on cows and pigs.”

“Quick recovery,” muttered Professor Ben “Seymour” Bottoms, [who goes to TBABHAPTB to study mores, which does not rhyme with s’mores, which he studies with the church youth group, although s’mores, in their own way, are a form of mores, especially if you pronounce mores to rhyme with the eel instead of a greater quantity, or like Morray Pi, who comes from an infinite line of men named Ray, so while studying mores, Seymour Bottoms also gets a pedicure, so he won’t seem strange], as he made a notation on the back of his hand.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Professor Bottoms,” Charlevoix whispered to him. “We’re late because Rolando got lost. How can you get lost in Periwinkle County? Can you observe him to see if he’s losing his memory?”

“No problem,” said Seymour. “I can determine that with one question.”

“Rolando, how’s the state of your soul?”

“I have a clear conscience and my heart is pure,” replied Rolando.

“Yep, he’s losing his memory,” said Seymour.