The "Just Before" Sale

As part of the Octoberfest-Ground Hog Celebration in Periwinkle County this weekend, The Methodist is having a "Just Before" sale, where everyone can bring the stuff they bought just before they no longer needed it. Basements and attics and closets are full of "just before" stuff.

Jake Newland bought a new bowling ball just before he could no longer walk. Marv Dolan got a hearing aid just before the radio station started carrying Rush Limbaugh. Bessie Bandervilt bought a set of steeel pots just before she got "rheumatiz" and could no longer lift them. Maurice Mann bought a whole box of 9x12 tablets just before he got a computer. George Petrosky bought a lawn mower just before he had to move to an assisted living apartment. Val Linder bought rope sandals just before she got toe fungus.

Three-year old Clara Wembley heard about the sale during the announcements at worship last Sunday. Nobody else listens to the announcements, since they are printed in the bulletin and they can read. They take the opportunity to make grocery lists. Clara, though, a non-reader, was quite intrigued by what she heard.

She decided to put her bow and arrow into the "just before" sale. She had stolen them from her brother, Marp, who was originally Mark, but Clara could not pronouce that, just before she realized she needed something more effective to wreak revenge on Shingles, the dog, who was originally Jingles, but Clara couldn't pronounce that, either, for stealing her blankie on Christmas Eve.

She is not allowed to watch the Discovery Channel at home, but she was visiting her nana, Kate Bates, and "Old Daddy Nana," Ben "Seymour" Bottoms, Kate's husband, was watching a show about dynamite and did not notice when Clara slipped into the room.

Clara knows that mostly-retired undertaker, Jake Newland, keeps dynamite in his garage for "digging" graves in the winter. She also knows that Jake is the kind of old man who will give a little girl anything she wants, without questions. And she knows just what she will give Shingles, and where, whether he wants it or not.