Mayor Sara M. Paler, known to her foes and family as Vlad, has called an emergency meeting of the Memphjus Town Council for tonight. It's their regular meeting night, anyway, but she likes to call emergency meetings. This one is to consider what to do about Bear Behinds.
Mayor Sara M. Paler attended worship at The Methodist yesterday. She is a member at Harvest Time Worship Center & Pumpkin Stand ["Two Screens, No Craning"], but being newly elected, after a short stint on the Dog Pound Board, followed by another short stint on the Ice Cream Vendors' Certifying Committeee,she has been making the rounds of the churches.
She is herself a tongue speaker, both in church andd Town Council meetings, so she was probably the only person at The Methodist who was not surprised that Pentecost broke out even before the Honda Prelude was over. [The Finance Comm. has been selling naming rights to various parts of the worship service.]
She was, however, incensed that the Methodists were trying to act like real Christians instead of the Niceness Creed, scum-loving, sinner-forgiving liberals everyone knows them to be. If they were real Christians, they would spend their time predicting the end of the world and making lists of those who will be left behind when the Rapture comes.
This confusion was the result of Flo Critten and her Bear Behinds, and what that grizzly on Bessie Bandervilt's denim dress did to poor Zygmund Froid to cause him to break out in tongues, so, according to Mayor Sara M. Paler, something has to be done. Tonight she will introduce her ground-breaking, ceiling-shattering legislation: No Bear Left Behind, which will take care of the Bear Behinds problem and Leftists at the same time.
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