How to Deter Ukulele Players

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:

Olaf Mapquist, the great ukulele player was in county last week for a concert at “The Venue: Where Rock & Zen Collide.”

The next morning he wandered into the “Good to the Last Slop Coffee & Poetry Repair Shop.”

Randall Nathan was in his usual booth, with an accordion beside him. He doesn’t play the accordion, but he carries it with him to the coffee shop so people will not sit with him.

Of course, an accordion does not deter or detour a ukulele player, [nor does anything else], so Olaf sat down across from Randall.

“Oh, man,” said Olaf, holding his head, “I need coffee bad. After my concert last night, you won’t believe all the [deleted] [deleted] I got into. The [deleted] stuff was [deleted] great, and the [deleted] women were [deleted] and we [deleted] all night. You’ve got a [deleted] place here.”

“You’d better have some Hair of the Bear coffee then,” said Randall. “It will cure what ails you.”

He opened up the button side of the accordion, pulled a flask out of it, and poured a double for Olaf.

“Hey, [deleted], that’s really [deleted],” said Olaf. “I always knew a [deleted] accordion should be good for [deleted] something.”

He took a big swig.

“Oh, this stuff is awful,” cried Olaf. “Lord, have mercy on my soul. It’s changing my neurons all around. I don’t even want to say [deleted] anymore. I’m being ionized into something…. I’m saved. I’m going to be a missionary to the Finns and teach them to play the ukulele. What kind of devil are you, making me drink this stuff?”

“I’m a preacher,” said Randall, “and I like to be left alone.”

30 [Which means The End…until next time…]

[“Christ in Winter,” reflections on faith for people in the winter of their years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]