A Round Mound Christmas

Periwinkle Chronicles, tales of the citizens of Periwinkle [because all the other colors were already taken] County:


Randall Nathan was right when he said on Christmas eve that nothing was going to happen in Periwinkle County over the Christmas break. Except that Charles Barkley came to town. In his Santa suit.

It was a mistake. He was supposed to play Santa in Memphis, but Horned Frog Airlines naturally thought he was going to Memphjus, the seat of Periwinkle County, and thus booked him into The Buddy Holly Air Strip & Persimmon Juicery.

Cab Cataway, who drives for Lallo Cabs, looked at the Santa suit and took him directly to The Whistle and Thistle Biker Bar and Episcopal Ladies Tea House, since that was the venue for the community Christmas bash.

The Episcopal ladies were quite pleased when they heard that “Sir Charles” was there, assuming he was British nobility.

Not knowing he was in the wrong Memphjus, he did his Santa routine, in his Sir Charles voice, but Claire Nathan saw through it, and when he was introduced as “The Round Mound of Rebound,” she laughed so hard she fell off her chair. She said, “It wasn’t all that funny, but when you’ve made enough persimmon pudding to deliver it to 300 people in nursing homes, you’re ready to laugh at something.”

When Charles learned that Betsy Kendy had been born in Auburn, AL, where he played college basketball, he pulled her onto the dance floor. Betsy is a willowy high school freshwoman, but her 5’7” and 110 looked quite scrawny compared to Charles’ 6’6” and 300. Naturally she was embarrassed and tried to get away, but Charles just tucked her under his arm and danced with her that way.

Then Betsy’s little brother, Johnny, challenged Santa to a game of H-O-R-S-E, and everyone went out into the parking lot to watch him demolish “Mr. Round Mound,” as Johnny called him, with a variety of layups that seemed to befuddle Sir Charles. He blamed it on jet lag.

“Well, little lady,” said Sir Charles to Betsy, “you’ll have quite a story to tell when school gets back in session.”

“If you think I’m going to tell anybody I still believe in Santa,” she said, “you’re crazy.”

The End—until next time


[“Christ in Winter,” reflections on faith for people in the winter of their years, can be found at http://christinwinter.blogspot.com/]

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