Baseball & Broken Hearts

John Jumper is the baseball writer for The Old Weird-Herald newspaper. His daughter, Junie B, ran into the kitchen, crying.

“Daddy broke my heart,” she wept at her mother. “He has always said there was nothing I could do to cause him to stop loving me, but now he says he can’t forgive me.”

Justa Jumper stalked into the remote-control room, where her husband was staring into space.

“What do you mean, telling your daughter you can’t forgive her? What did you do to break your daughter’s heart?” she demanded. “You should know the agony of heartbreak. The Cubs break your heart every day, twice if there’s a double-header. She’s a wonderful girl. She doesn’t do sexting. She doesn’t do drugs or booze. She gets good grades.”

“You say those things like they are equal to being a Yankees fan,” sniffed John Jumper.

“What?”

She turned toward the kitchen, fists dug into her waist.

“Young lady, you get in here right now and apologize to your father,” she shouted.