Clara Stalks the Future

Three-year-old Clara Wembley, who still has not forgiven Shingles the Dog for stealing her blankie on Christmas eve, went to story hour at the Ann White Children’s Library. She overheard some older kids talking about THE CELERY STALKS AT MIDNIGHT, featuring Bunnicula, the vampire bunny.

Now she has given up on weapons to wreak her revenge on Shingles and is concentrating on psychological warfare, using a Bunnicula doll and a Furby that occasionally snarls, “Clara will get you.”

No one else in the whole of Periwinkle County can understand why Shingles refuses to go home whenever he gets out of the house.

Clara went down the street to chat with Jake Newland as he sat on his front porch.

“What’s new, Clara?” asked Jake.

“Shingles wasn’t born here, you know,” said Clara. “He was born in a foreign country and he’s secretly a cat, a socialist cat that thinks the Friskies should be shared, and he’ so lazy he won’t get a job, even though there’s lots of jobs for dogs.”

“Clara, I know you’re little,” said Jake, “but you need to start thinking a little straighter. This sort of talk is not going to serve you very well when you’re older.”

“Oh, yes it will,” said Clara. “I’ve decided what I’ll do when I grow up. I’m going to go to vet school and be a talk radio show host and explain to people how to control their animals. They’ll call me Dr. Clara.”

“Well, that sounds alright,” said Jake.


Clara just laughed her evil laugh.