July 4, Part 2

It has taken Pastor Randall Nathan, (Retard), several days to process what happened Sunday, July 4.

He filled in for Pastor Patty at the Sunday morning worship service, while she was at her 20 year high school reunion. He was surprised to see four persons he had not seen in church before march in during the Prelude. They were wearing red, white, and blue t-shirts that read "Guns, Guts, and God Is What Made This Country Great." He wasn't sure if they had guns, but it was clear from the strain on the shirts that they were demonstrating the "guts" part of their slogan, and they were in the right place for "God."

As he preached, he remarked on the window display at the Birch John Toilet and Plumbing Supplies, which spelled out, in red,white, and blue flowers, "For God so loved the USA, John 3:16." He thought folks should hear the real version, "For God so loved the world..."

That was when the four strangers got up and stomped out. He learned later that the SOS group, SOS standing for Second Omendment Solutions, had sent members to every church in the country with orders to stomp out if they heard anything "unpatriotic."

[He later learned that the SOS group at St. John the Catholic Baptist Church had stomped out when Brother Antoninus remarked that Jesus told us to pray for our enemies.]

Later that afternoon, in the parade, Randall noted that the SOS float featured a huge recreation of the Birch John Toilet and Plumbing Supplies window.

The Sousa Gospel Singers, who sing "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "Stars and Stripes Forever," were marching behind the SOS float, since the parade entries were lined up alphabetically. They switched to "America, the Beautiful," right in front of The Methodist, where Pastor Nathan was watching the parade. He started to sing along with them. That's when the crow bats swooped down from the belfry.

Apparently it wasn't music in general that summoned the crow bats, or Pastor Nathan's voice in general. He had gone though all that in the post for July 4, Part 1. It was his singing with which they resonated.

They were not just resonating, however. They were hungry, and they honed in on the SOS float and those red, white, and blue flowers. When the folks in the parade saw the size of those crow bats, they ran in all directions at once, and the crow bats munched the flowers off the float, keeping time to Pastor Nathan's rendition of "America, the Beautiful."

At the end of the parade, there was nothing left but a lot of satisfied-looking crow bats, a hoarse old preacher, and the skeletal remains of a float.

"Only in America," sighed Randall Nathan.

{The author did see actually see a display in the window of a floral shop just like the one in the Birch John store window.}