The Persimmon Blues

Any good blues song involves waking up in the morning, a good woman, digging in a mine, shooting a man just to see him die, and some good advice. In Periwinkle County, that means…

THE PERSIMMON BLUES

I woke up this morning with my mouth in a pucker
I got a good woman but each day I gotta duck her
She’s got a fist that feels like iron and steel
Since the last time she swung I ain’t had a meal
Oh, I got those persimmon blues from my head to my feet
The pudding of persimmons is all I can eat
I’ve got those pucker-up, hunker-down, round-the-barn, teeth-on-edge, DT-shaking persimmon blues.

I’ve been digging persimmons down in the mine
I asked the lord to please give me a sign
I’ve got me some faith but I’ve also got doubt
I asked him to give me a sign with a shout
He said if you’re digging you’ve got to be daft
It ain’t much of a craft when you always get the shaft
I’ve got those pucker-up, hunker-down, round-the-barn, teeth-on-edge, DT-shaking persimmon blues.

I made a man eat persimmons just to see him die
I know that in the world to come I’m surely gonna fry
Along about the 18th rung in the inferno
Dante never even figured on that infernal Sterno
They put me in the slammer ‘til I made it right
I had to listen to that guy puke all through the night
I’ve got those pucker-up, hunker-down, round-the-barn, teeth-on-edge, DT-shaking persimmon blues.

Oh gather ‘round you children and listen to my tale
If you eat persimmons your GI tract will surely fail
They’ll rot your gut and rot your teeth and rot your faith in bacon
You’ll go through life just like a vegan with all your limbs a shakin
The devil, he don’t play no games, except for that damned futbol
For when he grabs your wretched soul you’ll hear him shout out GOOOOAAALLLL!
I’ve got those pucker-up, hunker-down, round-the-barn, teeth-on-edge, DT-shaking persimmon blues.