Romancing the Persimmon

"What are you doing, Mz Jenny?" asked three-year-old Clara Wembley as Jenny Newland's arthritic fingers tromped on the keyboard.

"I'm signing Jake up for that Romancing the Persimmon dating site. The old coot is driving me crazy. There's got to be some dumb broads out there, pardon my French, who can take him off my hands once in a while."

"What you doing, Mz Jenny?"

"Clara, I just told you... oh, here's ten dollars. Spend it some place where I'm not."

"Works every time," said Clara, stuffing the Dixie Note into the pocket of her sunsuit.

[In early Louisiana, currency was printed in English on the front and French on the back. A ten dollar bill said "Ten" on the front and "Dix" on the back. Thus, Dixie note, and eventually Dixieland.]

Clara went to see Madame Rousseau, the music teacher at Volvo River HS.

"Mr. Jake needs a broad dumb French woman," said Clara.

"What? Why, that... And, you, saying such things to a... Here's ten dollars. Spend it some place where I'm not."

Clara went home to get Shingles, the dog, and then made her way back to where Jake was sitting on his front porch.

"Let's go to Buddy Mutts, for lunch, Mr. Jake." [Buddy Mutts, the restaurant run by The Brothers Jim, requires that a dog be with you to eat there.]

"Well, Clara..."

"There's no time for 'Well, Claras.' Mz Jenny is trying to get up out of her chair. I've got twenty bucks and you've got to get out of here before she takes off your hands."

Jake figured that was about as clear as anything would ever be at his age, so he got up and pushed his walker and followed Clara.

As they went, she said, "Mr. Jake, you know how to change a diaper?"

"Why, Clara, surely you don't still wear a diaper."

"Of course not. I'm a big girl. I just don't want to have to change yours."