Pastor Labron

Like everyone else in the nation, The Rev. Dr. Randall Nathan, (Retard), did not anxiously await the announcement by Labron James of where he would make millions next year.

Labron's decision, truth be told, is one of the major factors in the economy. To the winning city, Miami, Labron's presence will mean approximatly two billion dollars. Labron will get about one-fourth of that, which he will surely spend on good works, and the rest will go to hotels and restaurants and sellers of t-shirts. It will, of course, mean the loss of two billion to Cleveland.

Labron is a walking advertisemet to kids: stay in school and get that high school diploma and see what it will do for you.

Randall Nathan thought about all that just before going to bed. As he slept, he had a dream. In it, cities were courting him to come and preach there, just as cities courted Labron to come and play ball.

"Preaching is so much more important than basketball," they said. Being an old basketball player, Rev. Nathan wasn't sure about that, but he liked the ways they tried to get him to come to their cities.

NYC promised him he could have Harry Emerson Fosdick's pulpit at Riverside Church, or Harold Sockman's pulpit at Christ Church Methodist, or George Buttrick's pulpit at Madison Ave. Presbyterian, or Norman Vincent Peale's pulpit at Marble Collegiate. "Just take your pick," said NYC's Jewish mayor.

They even sang songs to try to persuade him. NYC came in with "We are the world, you are the preacher. We need you bad, because we are evil creatures." Cleveland tried, "We are the world, you are the pastor. We need you here, to get saved faster." Los Angeles sang, "We are the world, you are the reverend. We need you here, because we've got nothing to rhyme with."

"Randall! Randall! Wake up! Stop that snorting around!"

"Oh... I guess I was having a dream. Hmm, I wonder just how many great preachers there are in the world?"

"One fewer than you think," said Claire.